These days it’s become almost trendy to say you have no regrets.
I even have it tattooed on my wrist.
But the truth is, I have a lot of regrets, especially when it comes to my writing career.
They say regrets are harmful, because you can never go back, so you might as well move forward. But if we never look back, then how can we learn from our mistakes?
My biggest regret is not putting my writing first. From the time I was five years old, I knew I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. I was already writing books, such as they were.
After I graduated from high school, I didn’t get into the college I wanted immediately, so I worked as a waitress for a year in a small Northern community. Half of the kitchen table in my furnished apartment was for eating, the other half for writing. Did I write that year? Not a word, except maybe some poetry. Too caught up in interpersonal drama.
Then I got into college, a compressed program that taught journalism, advertising, public relations, and broadcasting. I was writing constantly, but for instructors, not myself. Though I did manage to finish a behemoth of a first novel in the summer between my first and second year for my final project. My advisor was too busy to read it–no one expected a student to come back with a 500-page, single-spaced novel. It’s too bad. I really could have used the guidance.
Once I became a journalist, that took over. I loved it, I was doing good work, and–most importantly–helping people. It was several years before I realized my mistake. I never should have built a career around writing if I wanted to be a novelist. It was too tough to carve out room and creative energy for both.
My writing career–the one I desperately wanted–suffered from lack of time and competing priorities. After getting an agent, the despair from having to fire her and having her completely kill the potential of my first book took years to recover from. Once I started working in public relations and communications, I wrote before work and stole time on breaks to edit and query agents, but the going was slow.
Even when I finally gave myself three years to work solely on my own writing by remortgaging my home, I couldn’t resist the lure of a steady paycheck. I became a teacher within the first year.
And now here I am, in what may be the final chapter of my life, writing from another kitchen table, this time in a Mexican fishing village. I sold and donated almost everything I owned to get here and buy myself time. Every now and then, the lure of the paycheck still beckons. I won’t lie–this is terrifying sometimes, not knowing when or if I’ll succeed.
But despite my occasional lapses of applying for part-time jobs (twice), I’m determined to stick this out and see where it goes. I don’t regret the experiences I had teaching international students, or handling public relations for a museum, or covering everything under the sun as a journalist. I’ve had incredible opportunities and met some amazing people.
But if I could go back in time, I’d return to that cold kitchen in Thompson, Manitoba, clear the dirty dishes from one side of the table, sit down at the other, and write.
If you want to help me succeed in achieving my crazy writing dreams in Mexico, you can check out my books here. Thanks so much for reading!
The purpose of the Insecure Writers’ Support Group is to share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. 
Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds. To see a full list of IWSG authors, click here.
All the best with your writing dreams in Mexico–I look forward to reading about your adventures both in life and literature.
Thanks so much, Damyanti! How are you doing? I don’t think we’ve talked since you wrote a post for this blog about your then-upcoming release. How did it do? I’d love to know!
At the time, it always seems like those other priorities make sense. In retrospect, maybe not so much. I’m really hoping you’ll make it with the writing dream in Mexico!
Thanks so much, Rebecca. I hope so too. And you’re right, they did make sense at the time. But looking back, not so much!
500 pages for your first book?! Whew! My first novel was 450, and yeah, it was a lot.
I’m wishing you HUGE success, and the courage to keep going. You have got this!
Thanks so much for the kind words, Crystal. That’s the first one I count. It was a mess. Imagine trying to wade through 500 single-spaced pages printed on a dot-matrix printer. Yikes! But from the bones of that novel came Lost. (My novel, not the TV series of the same name.)
I wish you success too!
All of those experiences have contributed to what you write now!
True, but I could have sacrificed a few of them. 😅
That was a big jump but you have burned your bridges so to speak so now you know you have to succeed!
I certainly hope so! I had to give it a shot. If not now (or over 2.5 years ago, to be exact), then when?
That’s human nature, isn’t it? The fire gets lit under us to write when something else is keeping us from writing.
Hi Melissa! I’m not sure. I’ve always had the desire to write. I just didn’t trust that my fiction writing would be able to pay the bills on its own.
You have committed! Good for you. I took journalism and creative writing but for some reason I just never thought I could have a real career doing any writing.
Aww, I’m really sorry to hear that, Diane. Journalism was pretty good to me, though it really did make it hard for to write anything else. Sometimes I was writing seven to twelve articles a day.
And yes, I’m totally committed now! Everything is on the line.
I’m enjoying your journey in Mexico! While we’ve discussed moving out of the country, we stay because we have young adults still home and we need to be sure they’re okay before we venture out. But we’re traveling and I intend to do some international writing retreats in the future (as in, run them), so that’s exciting to contemplate and plan. My hope is to be mostly out of the country for my remaining healthy years and to keep writing and publishing in the meantime. Good luck with your journey!
Oh, that’s amazing, Shannon! Where are you thinking of going? I’m hoping to do a writers’ retreat here too someday, but my ultimate goal (besides the NYT list) is opening a residency for all kinds of artists. There’s so many talented artists here!
Welcome back! It’s been awhile. 🙂 I don’t know how Mexico has been for you, but you certainly seem prolific based on your Amazon page. The last few years have been up and down for me, but I did manage to complete my first trilogy. And I’m looking to get my first tattoo soon. I hope I don’t have any regrets. ;-P
It’s so great to catch up with you! I’m glad I rejoined. I’ve been prolific, but nowhere near as prolific as I could or should have been. I had a late start and too much “downtime” due to setbacks and a lack of resilience. But where I’ve really fallen down is marketing. As it turns out, people can’t buy your books if they don’t know they exist. Who knew?
Congratulations on finishing your trilogy! I’m so happy for you. As for tattoos, I was never a “tattoo person,” but one of my students is a brilliant tattoo artist and a good friend, so I got two from her before I moved to mark the milestone.
Dear Miss Moncrieff
You are so brave, perhaps you need reminding of that.
There aren’t many of us who would sacrifice everything to pursue our true goal, no matter how often we fantasise about doing just that. I for one admire your commitment and stand in awe of your lifestyle. You are living the dream like so many great authors before you, embrace it.
Thanks so much, Mark. That’s very kind of you to say. I’m aware that I have a great and rare opportunity here, even if I had to sacrifice my house and a great job and good community to do it! I’m hoping to make y’all proud. 😊
For what it’s worth, we are already very proud of your achievements as well as your bravery in following your dream. Take care
I had a similar regret when I was in grad school writing papers for overly critical and biased professors and writing so little for myself. But I soon learned that my business was to make the literature rather than write about it or teach it
I’m glad you came to the same realization, Steve! How’s it been working for you? I wish you all the luck as you pursue your writing dreams!
Aww, it’s worth a lot, Mark. Thank you so much!
And, eventually, you got there! And you’re not even that old yet. 🙂
In a way, all your previous experiences and realizations added to you finally choosing a 24/7 writing career. All those jobs brought in money, which made you feel more secure in pursuing the writing dream. And I think all the writing for other people and paying jobs also molded your writing and your life now.
Either way, I’m super proud of you to go all the way in Mexico. I know you’ll succeed. And by living smaller and not in Canada anymore, you need less money to survive which will make the savings last, as well as the chances to stick to writing for yourself. You got this!
Thanks so much, Liesbet! I really appreciate it.
I try to look at it the same way, but I wish I hadn’t needed so many jobs and experiences before taking the leap!
Wow, sounds like quite the leap you’ve made – one much braver than I would attempt. Here’s to every success on your adventure in Mexico.
Thanks so much, Nick. Is it brave, or just stupid? I’m hoping for the former! No matter what happens, though, living here is an incredible experience and I’ve gained so much.
Moving to a Mexican village to write full time sounds amazing – and must have required a lot of courage. I think courage is one of the most important characteristics a writer can have–the courage to write even when it feels pointless, the courage to keep going in the face of rejection, etc. I hope this venture works out beautifully for you.
Thanks so much, Janet! Once I started the ball rolling, it got to a point where it would be harder to stop than to keep going. Once my house was on the market, for instance. And then once it sold. I was absolutely terrified and bawling my eyes out over leaving my people, but by then, it was too late to back out.
Nice tat. I don’t like the word “regrets” because it’s too much of a label, but we all have them. I’ve been intentional about putting a positive spin on my experiences. You’ve made some drastic choices in pursuit of your writing. It’s brave and I wish you all the best. I clicked your link and discovered a few of your titles that I haven’t read yet. Guess I’ll be adding to my TBR.
Aww, thank you so much, Toi! You’re the best. Your support means so much to me; you have no idea! Every single book helps.